NO JUDGMENT ❀ ✿ An Interview with with Ted Rees

NO JUDGMENT is a weekly interview series feat. Timeless' lovely writers, so they can begin to assume a shape beyond floating heads in the twittersphere. 
This week's personal esoterica comes courtesy of Ted Rees

Photo credit: Andrew Kenower

A memorable/embarrassing-in-hindsight early email address or username? What age?

At age 12, I tried to use the name "LilTaco" on AOL, but unaware of the sexual connotations of the word "taco" at the time, I was turned down. Instead I settled for "StompZine," which came from the name of my first zine and publication, Stomp it Up Fanzine. I did three issues, the last one came out when I was in 8th grade.

You would be named Patron Saint of ______.

I am the Patron Saint of Smiling at Dogs. But really, my saint day is the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, so it all makes sense, since he's the patron saint of animals.

What is a gift you received that made you feel truly seen?

There are a few gifts that have made me feel truly seen. One was a gorgeous drawing of a sailor with his cock out and the words, "This'a'way, boys!" My old friend Robin Shitberry made it, I have no idea where she is now but I miss her.

Another was when my friend made me a special sceptre out of marijuana leaves braided around a stick, then tied a Prince tape to it. Emily Klim, thanks, wherever you are.

I also have a fondness for animatronic or talking stuffed animals, and have received many horrible and wonderful gifts over the years that relate to that fondness.

If you gave this current period in your life a song title and/or band name, what would it be and why?

Organ Slop, because my organs feel like slop.

Share yr childhood vs. adulthood ~*comfort object of choice*~ (i.e. a special teddy, blankie, vape/joint, etc.).

I wasn't really attached to any object in my childhood— seriously, my parents thought there was something wrong with me— though I did have a stuffed camel named Cammy for many years that I was very into.

Nowadays, I might say that I love weird cups and household objects. I had a mug for many years that was called "The Friendship Mug" which my friend Dorien gave me. It had two happy dolphins on it, but it broke at some point between 2014 and 2015 by a housemate's hand. I cried when it broke.

I am currently obsessed with a chalice that I found at a Goodwill in Chico, CA, that is a mason jar attached to candlestick. It is everything.

What is your least favorite food?

Coconut, specifically the meat of the coconut.

Do you resonate with yr Zodiac Sign? Say more.

I'm a Libra-Aquarius-Aquarius, and I vibe with that chart, yes. I don't feel like saying any more about that, because my astrologer friends will come out of the woodwork to say I characterized my signs incorrectly. If you know your signs, this is a very "Libra-Aquarius-Aquarius" response.

Last form of “medicine” you offered yourself (can be emotional, spiritual, metaphysical)?

Everything is poison, it's just that some poisons are slow.

Share 3 of your recent google searches (no judgment xo).

"DH Lawrence cask of amontillado"
"pontiac grand prix 90s"
"through the repellant fence"

Share a reaction image/gif that represents you during yr writing process.

Learn more about Ted Rees here. Rees' book, In Brazen Fontanelle Aflame, is available for purchase here

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